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Running Humor

A Runner's Happy Pace

Seizing Opportunity

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There’s a guy who is an avid runner. Actually, he’s an ultra runner. Every Saturday morning he gets up very early and runs for hours.

One Saturday he gets up early, quietly throws on his shorts and singlet and goes out to his car. It is raining cats and dogs, not to mention there was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing around 30 mph.

He goes back into the house, checks his phone for the weather and finds that it’s supposed to keep it up all day. So he undresses just as quietly, and slips back into bed where he cuddles up to his wife’s back and whispers, “The weather out there is terrible.”  She replies, “Can you believe it, my stupid husband is out running in it?”


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A blonde goes out for a training run. She comes to a river and looks for a bridge or crossing but can’t find any. She spots another blonde on the opposite side of the river. “Excuse me” she shouts, “How can I get to the other side?”

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, “You’re already on the other side!”

Running Around a Car

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What do you get when running in front of a car? …. Tired!

What do you get when running behind a car? …. Exhausted!

Last Runner

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Last year I entered the ING Miami Marathon.  Within minutes after the race started I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing. The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was taunting me. He said, “Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?” I replied: “Do you want to know?” and I dropped out.